Question:
I find that when I do a craft with the children, preparing before hand goes a long way. I don’t expect perfection and a mess is all part of doing a craft. Make up what the final project MAY look like before you give the kids a chance to try. This way they have an idea what the final outcome looks like. Just get them to help with the clean up afterwards, a little broom and dust pan goes a long way. Sometimes just putting a whole bunch of different craft/household recyclables on the table can prove to be a big incentive on using their own imaginations on what to make. Usually a bigger success than when I do a planned activity. An idea for the sparkles, try putting them in a film canister with holes poked in the top. If you find that not enough sparkles are coming out, just make the holes a bit bigger. Thus, no spills.
Response:
I can relate… especially about the part of losing it and feeling bad about it after. Why can’t I learn not to lose it??? (actaully, I am getting a little better about this) One thing to do is to EXPECT a big mess. Just try to prepare for it and contain it. Do everything in one area and then clean off each kid before they leave the area. Put newspapers down, use smocks. I do this when they paint. As far as not losing it… if you feel yourself about to scream, step outside for a second (even if it is freezing out there), go into another room for your own time out. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Also, try to lighten up a bit. Don’t worry too much about a mess because it can always (most always) be cleaned up. I should take my own advice!!! -Kathy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with >my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know >that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really >creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all >afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. >Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray >painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they >sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get >more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement >floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He >wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up >he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter >level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was >unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the >time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that >they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think >they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less >than ten minutes ago. >How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess >and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make >whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
Response:
Well I think we have all been there (more than once) Mine either make a mess or even worst you get everything out with this big project in mind which involves them all they are all enthusiastic about it for five minutes then you end up at the table by yourself wondering why you bothered in the first place. My suggestion is if the kids are young or you have varying ages of children make sure the task is fun but quick so they don’t have time to get bored cause havoc and also feel they have achieved an end product quickly. They seem to enjoy it more this way however you then have the rest of the day to try and keep them busy again. Roll on summer that’s what i say !!!( this of course does not apply to you in the southern hemisphere you lucky people) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -
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Response:
It seems that many respondants feel as I do,… WE have the expectations that are not being met. I particularly liked Kara’s response. Being an engineer that strives for perfection in everything created, it was at first EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to work with children; i bit my lip alot. I found it was MY EXPECTATIONS OF THE OUTCOME THAT WERE THE PROBLEM. Now my expectations are that we have a good time and learn something, if they do enough "projects" they will become more careful with it automatically. We all clean up the mess together and I stay away from thinking of Right and Wrong ways of doing the project. I now enjoy coaching a number of children’s groups. We don’t have to be the best but we learn, grow and have fun. > I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with > my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know ……
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Response:
I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less than ten minutes ago. How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with > my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know > that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really > creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all > afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. > Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray > painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they > sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get > more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement > floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He > wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up > he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter > level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was > unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the > time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that > they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think > they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less > than ten minutes ago.
I’m not quite in your situation yet (I’m due in 8 mo.), but perhaps you should only do messy things (or potentially messsy things) in places where there is no carpet or have them wear smocks and old clothes –you too! If they are messy at the end and you don’t want them treking it through the house, bring them a change of clothes (do you have a shower/bathroom in the basement?) Or, if you really don’t like art (I hate to cook, and get very edgy — I vow to never cook at home with my child) or are "edgy" with projects, maybe you could sign them up for a class. Not only will it get all of you out of the house on a regular basis, with teachers who have done it before (and can anticipate the pitfalls) but you get to make the mess somewhere else without cleaning up! I plan to go to a "parent-child" cook class. > How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess > and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make > whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
Maybe a pre-boxed craft set would be good. Maybe it’s also a good time to teach that everything is "unique" and "special"! Or if the kids aren’t too keen on crafts, what about joining a "Y" that has a "kid-gym" for a bad weather day? I think the key is to remember that the purpose is having fun, not to create masterpieces. Of course, I haven’t had this frustration yet, so I don’t know how much help this is… Amy "Chance favors the prepared" 
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with > my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know > that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really > creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all > afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. > Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray > painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they > sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get > more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement > floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He > wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up > he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter > level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was > unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the > time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that > they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think > they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less > than ten minutes ago. > How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess > and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make > whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
I used to work summers at a playground, where we organized crafts and games for kids aged around 4-12. A few things I learned: *Make sure the kids are wearing old clothes, or a smock of some sort if your project looks like it’ll be even the tiniest bit messy. Chances are, if you think it’ll create a little mess, the kids will be able to turn it into a big one. *Try to "mess-proof" the area before you start your craft project. Doing it outside is best, but since it’s getting colder, may not be workable. So if you have to be indoors, buy some cheap plastic tarps to lay on the floor (good for glitter/painting/glueing projects…you can later take outside and shake/hose it off). Maybe have a bucket of water and roll of paper towels handy to wash off hands, so you don’t have kids tracking a mess through the house just to use the kitchen sink. *If at all possible, make a "sample" the day before (after the kids go to bed, maybe?) While you’re working on it, you can notice things that might be problematic the next day (like your glitter mess), and think of ways around it, and you’ll also have an example to show the kids. Much easier for the kids to follow if they see what the end result is supposed to look like (and also good for you if you’re halfway through a project and realize that it requires a bit more skill than your child may be ready for). Jennifer (in Boston)
Response:
You didn’t say how old your kids are, but I think the main thing that you could do to keep your sanity is to relax your standards of what the finished product "should" look like. When your son was playing with the glitter he was learning about "glitter properties," albeit ones that weren’t the ones you wanted him to learn. Next time maybe you could give them the materials you are going to use, tell them what project you’re doing, then let them at it. If they ask for help start them out then let them do most of it themselves, based on their ages and experience. (Little kids will need more help than the older ones, obviously.) DON’T expect the finished product to be ANYTHING like what you expected it to be, then you won’t get frustrated. Just look at it as a way of seeing what they come up with on their own. Let them have fun and do what they want to do with the arts and crafts materials, that’s how kids develop creatively. I also have to congratulate you for even trying this with your kids, a lot of parents don’t take the time to do arts and crafts at all…be brave! 
Kara B. writes: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with >my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know >that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really >creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all >afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. >Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray >painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they >sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get >more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement >floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He >wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up >he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter >level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was >unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the >time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that >they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think >they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less >than ten minutes ago. >How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess >and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make >whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with > my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know > that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really > creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all > afternoon trying to get my kids away from the TV and doing something. > Can’t go outside because of the weather. FINALLY hit on the idea of spray > painting pinecones and sprinkling glitter on them. I sprayed, they > sprinkled. I told John to take the sprinkle lid off so that we could get > more glitter on…big mistake. All over his black jeans and the basement > floor. Now on the bottom of their slippers and my carpeting. OK. He > wanted to hold the open containers and I figured OK, but when I looked up > he had both thumbs stuffed down into the containers raising the glitter > level to about 1 inch above the rim. In retrospect, I see that I was > unreasonable etc. etc. My question is this…how do I know this at the > time that I am doing it??? How do I keep my cool and keep in mind that > they’re only kids and they don’t know HOW to do things the was I think > they should be done. Yes, I’m still upset over this as it happened less > than ten minutes ago. > How do other parents, teachers, etc. keep from losing it over the mess > and it not turning out the way it’s supposed to?? Do I just let them make > whatever and put up with the whining that it’s not right? HELP ME.
How old are your children? My colleagues and I have come up with some age-appropriate tasks for homeschool families. Haven’t addressed crafts directly but if you give me the ages, I might be able to help. –Ed Dickerson
Response:
I have lots of kids and I would suggest you try to relax. It sounds like you are trying for clean house and creative kids. That combination is impossible to acheive at the same time. Do the kids help clean up after crafts are done? If not perhaps involve them in the clean up too. Don’t be too upset if they don’t follow all of the directions. Creativity is made up of individual ideas. Encourage them to experiment. Perhaps you could get them to suggest some things that they would like to do with you as well, so that you don’t have to think up all of the ideas. If it is something that they would really want to do then perhaps things will run more smoothly. Remember relax and enjoy them because someday they will be all grown up.
Response:
>I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with >my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me.
Hi, Folks, I can really sympathize. I had a very hard time doing these activities with my kids when they were very small, but now am more patient. Rather than force yourself, try enrolling them in a craft class through your local parks and rec or church. This way they get to have fun and you don’t have to *pretend*. Not every parent is constitutionally able to do every activity with the kids. I say give yourself a break and find something you really do enjoy. It might also help if the activity does not involve an end product. Take them for a nature hike, gather leaves, etc. But do find something; you will be glad to have those memories. Natalie
Response:
> I need some advice. Every time I try to do something artsy craftsy with > my kids, I end up losing it and everyone is unhappy, including me. I know > that they’re just doing what kids do best – making a mess, not really > creating anything, and not listening to what they are told. I spent all
What this feels like to me is that you may be more concerned about the product than the process and that they do things ‘right’. This is easily picked up by kids — who then avoid these types of activities. I wondered why I had always avoided cooking and sewing since my mother is a real champ at these things — but I just hate them and never did them — except for necessary cooking now as an adult. Then I watched her with my daughter when she was about 5. The child was embroidering a little picture that my mother had given her and of course it was not very good — my mother proceeded to pick it apart and redo it so it would be ‘all nice’. You can imagine the enthusiasm with which my daughter approached any further needlework with Grandma. [and this was a child who had proudly made her own stuffed bear out of an old pillow case when she was 3-- and proudly carried it everywhere to be greated by amazement by her peers. It was a very BIG bear.] It is easy to care about the product, but it is a real turn off for the kids. The key is to assemble the materials, make sure the environment and the kids are damage proof and then be low key about modeling the desired outcomes. There is a difference between showing them and responding to questions for help and a desire to control what they are doing.
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