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Question:

Thanks for sharing……This is one story I don’t think I’ll ever forget……<G>   I can’t wait until someone comes home so I can share Cheryl

Response:

That’s great.  : ) I just hope it doesn’t EVER happen to me!! Sherry Take Care, Sherry   (CD Class of ‘91)

Response:

A friend of mine sent me this joke and it is just too good not to share with a group like this, who can absolutely relate!  mgbio Warning: Please read this in a place where there is plenty of room to > ROLL! > Several years ago, I was having a very serious constipation problem. Go > ahead. Start laughing. I know you’re probably saying "Oh God-don’t tell

me > Carla has a story about constipation". Now – I don’t have a story about > constipation. So there. I have a story about diarrhea. Now shot up and let > me finish. Okay. Now…I took two correctol – but nothing happened the > next day (which>was a Saturday). Sat on the bowl-nuthin’s budgin. So

much > for the promise of  "gentle next day >effectiveness," right? I’m > strainin-grunting But there’s no skid marks showin up in THIS bowl. I got > off the bowl and start going about my day. In the middle of the afternoon, > hubby asks me to go to the office with him as he had a new office and > wanted me to help him decorate it and get some office supplies for him. I > figured, okay I’m plugged. Got a cork in it. If it hasn’t happened by now > (3:00)– it just ain’t gonna happen. So I left and forgot all about my > little "problem". When I got to the office, he gave me a list of office > supplies he needed. He gave me his Office Depot credit card and said I > wouldn’t have a problem as "everyone knew who he was". Gee, Mr.

Popularity > I thought. So off I went, over to the Office Depot with my daughter in > tow. La la la la la Strutting down the aisle of paper clips, legal pads la > la la la. Pencils, erasers… la la la la…. Suddenly, I felt a gurgle in > my stomach. "Oh yeah," I thought. "Perhaps that laxative is finally > starting to work that gentle magic". I went to walk towards the women’s > room,, but I’m starting to realize that the timing of my ass hitting the > correct place to dispose of this stuff is not gonna synchronize. I’m > thinking- "Oh…my God. I’m gonna…. SHIT MY PANTS!!!!! I start to walk > faster, but it’s too late. Mt St Helen’s starts erupting. Now – do any of > you know the Square footage of an Office Depot aisle where the ladies

room > is at the end? It’s 2,300,500,577,888 square feet. I start walking fast > and faster trying to prevent my sphincter muscles from allowing this mass > eruption. The look on my face was that of pure horror and my daughter > notices the "stick-stuck-up-her-ass" mode of walking. What’s the matter > Mommy?" I hear her say All I can say is "Oh my God, Oh my dear God"

as I > go marching past her down this 2,300,500,677.888 square foot aisle with > the smell of SHIT starting to waft through the air. Now-as I’m marching- > the fast I march the faster it starts sliding out. My daughter by this > time is following me- and she KNOWS by the look on my face that things

are > not good. She also knows things are not good by watching the butt area in > my pants beginning to expand. Now – I happened to have on one of those > tight pair of stirrup pants that you wear socks on the outside of-so at > least it didn’t fall out onto the floor. it just went down my legs and > into my socks. And here I am-THANKFUL for this!!!!!!! I finally reach in > the ladies room and I’m crying by this point. "Oh my God – I can’t believe > this is happening . Oh my God." Finally my daughter comes in and says > "Ewwwwww. Oh my God- Mommy- Is that YOU that stinks so bad?" I say

Alison > – if you even THINK about leaving you will be the first child to DIE in an > Office Depot bathroom. Now get me some paper towels and GUARD THE

DAMN DOOR > and make sure no one else comes in here!!!!! She wets every single paper > towel she can find and slips them under the door *then stands watch > between the door and the ladies room. I attempt to take off my pants but > there’s shit falling out all over. As many times as I said "Oh my God" > you’d a thought that He would have shown up in VISION in the damn > bathroom! I’m trying to wipe as best I can but it’s just not cutting it. > All I’m doing is plugging up the toilet now with paper towels. I take my > pants off they are so gross, I can barely even think about handling them. > My underwear! Forget it in the sanitary napkin bin. My socks? Same place. > My daughter is crying by now "Oh my God Mommy this is SO

embarrassing. > What if someone comes in?????? You just say "Wow must be a baby

diaper in > the trash can! If you mention a word you’re a DEAD KID! Got me??? > Sniveling "okay Mommy….but I thought you didn’t want me to lie "LIE > Dammit. LIE YOUR ASS OFF!!!!! Finally I emerge from the stall, shit > smeared all over the place the stench totally unbelievable and I’m > attempting to rinse out my pants. They’ve got CHUNKS of shit in em.  I > didn’t give a crap (hehehe) at this point. It’s going down the SINK! > Suddenly, Alison slams the door and in front of it her face as white as a > bottle of liquid paper. She shrieks " Someone’s COMING!!!!! A lady is > COMING INTO THE BATHROOM!!!!" Well, DON’T LET HER IN!!!!!!! She

starts to > cry uncontrollably. I run back in the stall, my wet smelly ass hanging > out, naked from the butt down with my shit dripping pants in hand. I’m > peering through the door jam. I watch the door open. In walks a young girl > employee of Office Depot with a name tag. She says hi to Alison. Alison > tries not to look like a deer caught in the head lights. She goes to the > third mirror and sink (the shit is in the first one) turns and says to > Ali. MAN!!! What DIED in here??????  Ali: "Uh…um…Well…um"…. then > blurts as fast as she can my mom had a bad stomach ache and just pooped > her pants!" Girl: Silent for a second. Then "Oh". Um… well…really? > Ummm Ma’am? Do you… need… any …help? Mom thinking: Okay,

hmmm…I > wonder what casket I should pick for her? Oh well not to worry, cause I’ll > be in prison and my husband will have to handle the funeral. Mom instead > says "Oh no…Just a little diarrhea, that’s all. I’m fine". Girl: "Oh… > okay…sorry. (leaves VERY quickly). I come out of the stall and Alison is > hysterical by now. "I’m sorry Mommy. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to > say." "Awright. Awright. Quit your sniveling. We’ve GOT to figure out a > way to get OUT of here without attracting attention." I put on my soaking > wet disgusting smelly pants–(my underwear and socks had already been > discarded leaving a nice surprise for the one who had trash duty that day) > pulled my sweater down as low as I could and ran out of that damn store

as – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> fast as I could go. I did happen to notice that girl talking to a crowd of > boys as I passed. They all had smiles on their faces. To make a long story > longer, I immediately went next door to a Kmart and proceed to shop. I did > notice however people sniffing the air whenever I approached and then > moving slowly away. I just smiled.  In all the history of shoppers, I’m > sure I could have won a prize that day for the speediest k-Mart shopper on > record. Socks, pants, underwear, shoes I think it took 30.2 seconds. I > made Alison pay for it while I hung out in yet another ladies room stall. > Alison just followed the stench and slipped the bag underneath where she > heard dripping and saw a small brown puddle I changed as quickly as I > could, put the shit dripping clothes in the bag, and discarded every piece > of clothing I had been wearing at the beginning of this little shopping > adventure on the way out in the dumpster, including my shoes as I was > driving back to my husband’s office and immediately went into his rest > room to "bathe" in the sink. He sees me with no supplies, no bags and an > entirely new outfit. Before he could even ask, I hell him the story and I > thought the man would hock   up  a   lung   laughing.  I was so mad I lied > to him. "HA! Glad to know YOU think it’s so funny. But just so you know, I > told them I was your wife on the way out and that their bathroom needed > attention. I just can’t wait until YOU go in there next week for > supplies!" Shut him up. Office Depot commercials have a whole new

meaning – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> for me…  

Response: