Question:
>Ummmm… Ann…. *impale*? Are you a descendant of Vlad the Impaler? >Are you in therapy? Did you used to work in the Post Office? Have >you been taking your MIdol as BOnehead prescribed?
Ooops, you caught me. Ever since Michael left here, my MIdol consumption has gone down. So now my brain is near exploding, and I wind up using words like impale. Besides Mr.rec.Fish, the guy who seems to be a human bite sleeve, would approve of such things. Ann, Twzl & Sligo —
Response:
>I know! A dog with no teeth won’t bite. But I don’t suggest getting one… >they have trouble eating, chewing, etc, and they do gum, which is almost as >bad. If you want an animal that doesn’t bite, get a fish. >-BK
Some fish bite. I bred angelfish and other cichlids. When they are guarding eggs, they bite and can draw blood. The ceramic dogs and puppy pillows truly don’t bite! Also occasionally piranha bite. But your post was still funny!
Response:
>Oh my doG–Ann, does this mean I’m an irresponsible breeder of Dust >Bunnies?!?! I’m afraid I have a serious overpopulation problem with >them in my home!
Dear Dianne: The Dust Bunny Rescue Group nearest you is always willing to help out and take in unwanted or unloved bunnies. If you need to place a Bunny, *please* let us know. We will assist you in finding a place for your Bunnies. As always, Bunnies with behavior problems will be more difficult to place. And, if you breed, please help out with rescue! Ann, Twzl & Sligo —
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Aha!!! Caught you, indicriminately breeding stuffed dogs. Have they >been tested, X-rayed and certified? ;-) And you said those were >dust bunnies under the bed, when in reality they were fluff puppies. >Breed Facts: Dust Bunnies >The Dust Bunny has a long and celebrated history. They were first found >in homes of people that had too many dogs and not enough time to clean. >Later, the Bunnies spread. With the current climate against allergens and >the tendency of people to sue others for such things, Dust Bunnies have >been renamed Fluff Puppies. Fluff Puppies have no teeth, unlike Bunnies. >So no one can get bit. All breeds of dogs will bite, except for >Fluff Puppies. As noted earlier they can cause allergic reactions in some >people though. >The Dust Bunny (Fluff Puppy, esp. in Lampasas Texas, home of 12 people >and a bunch of horses), has no known medical problems. It has no teeth, >no hips, no heart, no eyes, no kidneys, liver, sweetbreads, tonsils…in >short, it has no genetic material. So we don’t do any genetic testing on >them. We do feel that way too many have been produced: each year zillions >of them are routinely rounded up and swept into the garbage. With a >little more thought, this would not happen. >Dust Bunnies can come in all colors and sizes. In some houses, they >will be Golden. Others will have white, brindle, black…any color or >combination is allowed. No color is to be preferred over any other color. >As there are no eyes, no eye color is specified. Size should be in >proportion to their function: large Dust Bunnies, as long as they can >work, are preferred. Their coats should be equal parts dust, fur and >floor dirt. A Dust Bunny should not contain an excess of one part over >another: if it does, it is a sure sign that it is NOT a purbread. >The traditional habitat of the Bunnies is under things. Tables, beds, >older dogs, all may harbor Bunnies. A show Bunny should still have access >to such places, as it helps it grow coat. >Ann, Twzl & Sligo, breaderz of Purbread Dust Bunnies, Champ lines >–
I’ve become so fascinated with this breed, I just have to have a housefull. I would like to point out as a professional trainer they are the BEST!!! They do not bark all night, piddle on the floor, shred lingerie, eat poop (their’s or the cat’s), get into the trash, chase cars, kill birds or attach the neighbor’s kids. Another plus, from an economic standpoint they do not require crates, leashes, or food (they have the unique ability to grow without standard forms of nutrition), and best of all no vet bills. Yippee!!! What do you think Ann, care to swap some breeding stock? Stll giggling, Susan Dangar Standan Quarter Horses Lampasas, TX
Response:
>I know! A dog with no teeth won’t bite. But I don’t suggest getting one… >they have trouble eating, chewing, etc, and they do gum, which is almost as >bad. If you want an animal that doesn’t bite, get a fish. >-BK
Actually, its amusing. Some friends of mine have a 17 year old Pom. He is blind, mostly deaf, and seems to operate by sense of smell. He has no teeth. The fun thing is he likes me, because I figured out how to wrestle with him gently. Now whenever we play, he’ll happily gum my hand. Getting gummed by a dog is somehow a bit of an amusing concept. Still, he’s happy, and other than his senses, seems to be pretty peppy for his age. Jonathan
Response:
>They do not bark all night, piddle on the floor, shred lingerie, eat >poop (their’s or the cat’s), get into the trash, chase cars, kill >birds or attach the neighbor’s kids.
Ahh, but do they attack Fish Newsgroups? If all known breeds attack Fish Newsgroups, and Dust Bunnies do not attack, then I’m afraid I have serious doubts about whether to consider them a real breed! — On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. **** http://www.duke.edu/~hendrix ****
Response:
I know! A dog with no teeth won’t bite. But I don’t suggest getting one… they have trouble eating, chewing, etc, and they do gum, which is almost as bad. If you want an animal that doesn’t bite, get a fish. -BK — _ _// / ___ . _ o _ /___ (_) /_</_ <_/_)_
Response:
Sure, get a stuffed dog, get a cermic one, but i don’t recommend getting a plastic dog, if they’re anything like plastic cats… I’ve been bitten repetedly by both a plastic tiger AND a plastic panther covered with velvet. Oh, yeah, i almost forgot the green and orange plastic tiger. those are the meanest ones. I’ve also been bitten a few times by a plastic mutt.. -BK — _ _// / ___ . _ o _ /___ (_) /_</_ <_/_)_
Response:
>Aha!!! Caught you, indicriminately breeding stuffed dogs. Have they >been tested, X-rayed and certified? ;-) And you said those were >dust bunnies under the bed, when in reality they were fluff puppies.
Breed Facts: Dust Bunnies The Dust Bunny has a long and celebrated history. They were first found in homes of people that had too many dogs and not enough time to clean. Later, the Bunnies spread. With the current climate against allergens and the tendency of people to sue others for such things, Dust Bunnies have been renamed Fluff Puppies. Fluff Puppies have no teeth, unlike Bunnies. So no one can get bit. All breeds of dogs will bite, except for Fluff Puppies. As noted earlier they can cause allergic reactions in some people though. The Dust Bunny (Fluff Puppy, esp. in Lampasas Texas, home of 12 people and a bunch of horses), has no known medical problems. It has no teeth, no hips, no heart, no eyes, no kidneys, liver, sweetbreads, tonsils…in short, it has no genetic material. So we don’t do any genetic testing on them. We do feel that way too many have been produced: each year zillions of them are routinely rounded up and swept into the garbage. With a little more thought, this would not happen. Dust Bunnies can come in all colors and sizes. In some houses, they will be Golden. Others will have white, brindle, black…any color or combination is allowed. No color is to be preferred over any other color. As there are no eyes, no eye color is specified. Size should be in proportion to their function: large Dust Bunnies, as long as they can work, are preferred. Their coats should be equal parts dust, fur and floor dirt. A Dust Bunny should not contain an excess of one part over another: if it does, it is a sure sign that it is NOT a purbread. The traditional habitat of the Bunnies is under things. Tables, beds, older dogs, all may harbor Bunnies. A show Bunny should still have access to such places, as it helps it grow coat. Ann, Twzl & Sligo, breaderz of Purbread Dust Bunnies, Champ lines —
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >writes: >>Neither do ceramic dogs. The cutest ceramic dogs are the Sandicast >>dogs. There have never been any reported dog bites from Sandicast dogs. >>Lumps on the head maybe, but no bites. >Emily, if I take a ceramic dog, break its head off, and then impale >someone with the remains, does that count as a bite? Cause if it does, >you should be SUED for telling people to get something so dangerous. Me, >I’m sticking with stuffed dogs. I think I will stud them out. >Ann, Twzl & Sligo(all with huge sharp nasty looking teeth) >– >Aha!!! Caught you, indicriminately breeding stuffed dogs. Have they >been tested, X-rayed and certified? ;-) And you said those were >dust bunnies under the bed, when in reality they were fluff puppies. >Stud them out! ROFLOLPMP!!!! >Susan Dangar >Standan Quarter Horses >Lampasas, TX
Fluff puppies! Yessssss! Now I know what to tell my hubbie when he complains that I’m not vacuuming the apartment! I’ll tell him I’m breeding fluff puppies! But judging by the number of fluff puppies in the place, I’m a fluff puppy mill. Uh-oh! Tara Ballance Montreal Canada
Response:
>Breed Facts: Dust Bunnies >The Dust Bunny has a long and celebrated history. They were first found >in homes of people that had too many dogs and not enough time to clean.
<*snip*> Oh my doG–Ann, does this mean I’m an irresponsible breeder of Dust Bunnies?!?! I’m afraid I have a serious overpopulation problem with them in my home! (Thanks for the giggle–this was GREAT!) Dianne
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Okay, everyone, I want to know what breeds of dog have NEVER bitten >snip >Wendy Duggan >Kyzyl Kum Salukis-Smooth & Feathered > Wendy > Puppy Buyers >If you require a puppy >That isn’t noisy >And doesn’t chew >Won’t pee on the carpet >Or one who >Will never fight >Or make a mess >Will never bite >Under severe duress >There is only one breed >That will bring you joy >Its the All American >Plush Stuffed Toy! >NEH ‘89 >you asked for it! 
>nancy
Applause, applause!!!! Great response Nancy and you are absolutely correct. Susan Dangar Standan Quarter Horses Lampasas, TX
Response:
>>Neither do ceramic dogs. The cutest ceramic dogs are the Sandicast >dogs. There have never been any reported dog bites from Sandicast dogs. >Lumps on the head maybe, but no bites. >Emily, if I take a ceramic dog, break its head off, and then impale >someone with the remains, does that count as a bite? Cause if it does, >you should be SUED for telling people to get something so dangerous. Me, >I’m sticking with stuffed dogs. I think I will stud them out. >Ann, Twzl & Sligo(all with huge sharp nasty looking teeth) >–
Aha!!! Caught you, indicriminately breeding stuffed dogs. Have they been tested, X-rayed and certified? ;-) And you said those were dust bunnies under the bed, when in reality they were fluff puppies. Stud them out! ROFLOLPMP!!!! Susan Dangar Standan Quarter Horses Lampasas, TX
Response:
|> Emily, if I take a ceramic dog, break its head off, and then impale |> someone with the remains, does that count as a bite? Ummmm… Ann…. *impale*? Are you a descendant of Vlad the Impaler? Are you in therapy? Did you used to work in the Post Office? Have you been taking your MIdol as BOnehead prescribed? /andrea & Max & Rico P.S. Obviously, it only counts as a bite if you impale the person with the head portion of the remains. — Andrea Dec (Clever stuff under consideration) Hewlett-Packard Company I try not to have too many opinions, Solutions Mfg. & Distribution but those I do have are not supported Operation (East ) by HP.
Response:
>>Neither do ceramic dogs. The cutest ceramic dogs are the Sandicast >dogs. There have never been any reported dog bites from Sandicast dogs. >Lumps on the head maybe, but no bites. >Emily, if I take a ceramic dog, break its head off, and then impale >someone with the remains, does that count as a bite? Cause if it does, >you should be SUED for telling people to get something so dangerous. Me, >I’m sticking with stuffed dogs. I think I will stud them out.
Just don’t use sharp studs. They look all cool and punky, but they can poke someone’s eye out. Jonathan
Response:
>Ummmm… Ann…. *impale*? Are you a descendant of Vlad the Impaler? >Are you in therapy? Did you used to work in the Post Office? Have >you been taking your MIdol as BOnehead prescribed? >/andrea & Max & Rico >P.S. Obviously, it only counts as a bite if you impale the person > with the head portion of the remains.
Right, Andrea. But of course, you can avoid the entire situation, if you simply remember to give the ceramic dog its MIdol! And Ann, I think BOnehead meant that you should take a double dose. Emily and Perry (Midol? Is that another T*R*E*A*T?) and Dolly
Response:
>Emily, if I take a ceramic dog, break its head off, and then impale >someone with the remains, does that count as a bite? Cause if it does, >you should be SUED for telling people to get something so dangerous. Me, >I’m sticking with stuffed dogs. I think I will stud them out. >Ann, Twzl & Sligo(all with huge sharp nasty looking teeth)
My doG! A stuffed dog?!? Now you’re just asking for trouble. Those things can be used like a pillow to smother someone. Geez, who should be sued here? "You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever!"
Response:
>Okay, everyone, I want to know what breeds of dog have NEVER bitten
-Start list – -End list "There are 3 types of people. One that makes things happen; one that watches things happen, and one that wonders what happened"
Response:
: Stuffed dogs don’t bite. Ever. Yeah but it’s such a "drag" when you try to walk them.
Response:
>: Stuffed dogs don’t bite. Ever. > Yeah but it’s such a "drag" when you try to walk them.
Oh, Bryan, your thinking is too limited. Turn a negative into a positive: you don’t ever have to give them any exercise at all! — On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog. **** http://www.duke.edu/~hendrix ****
Response:
>Okay, everyone, I want to know what breeds of dog have NEVER bitten
Gund. They can be found in any children’s store. I find that my dogs are very safe with Gunds, although I sometime have to re-attach heads. >We can add it to the list of FAQs….
Good! I think it’s important to only care about what dogs MIGHT bite us. 
Ann(first bite was by a Sheltie at age 4 and I probably deserved it), Twzl & Sligo —
Response:
Gus! Bob Alman
Response:
>Stuffed dogs don’t bite. Ever.
Well, I have to disagree. I was bitten by an SD, and ever since then I have actually crossed the street when some one is walking theirs. With my SD puppy (squeaks, won’t bark until an adult). I have to use a muzzle. This is because of a new local ordinance (done order-in-council, so there wouldn’t be any public outcry) that states that viscious (or perceived to be potentially viscious) breeds of SD must have muzzles, or risk heavy fines or imprisonment, or both. Mike
Response:
>Okay, everyone, I want to know what breeds of dog have NEVER bitten >snip >Wendy Duggan >Kyzyl Kum Salukis-Smooth & Feathered
Wendy Puppy Buyers If you require a puppy That isn’t noisy And doesn’t chew Won’t pee on the carpet Or one who Will never fight Or make a mess Will never bite Under severe duress There is only one breed That will bring you joy Its the All American Plush Stuffed Toy! NEH ‘89 you asked for it! nancy
Response:
Okay, everyone, I want to know what breeds of dog have NEVER bitten This information will be FAR more useful to folks trying to select a breed than the continual postings from people who say "well, I’ve never had one *myself*, of course, but I knew one that bit someone….so be careful with this breed!". We can add it to the list of FAQs…. — Wendy Duggan Kyzyl Kum Salukis-Smooth & Feathered
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