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Question:

How many of you have both parents working full time where one of you is responsible to keep the house clean. How many kids do you have Do you have any problems keeping up with the housework How long do you spend each evening doing housework after work. Please, big conflict at our house, please respond, need to take answers to SO to discuss this matter further. Wonderwoman

Response:

>>How many of you have both parents working full time where one of you is >responsible to keep the house clean.

I work 37.5 hours a week.  Husband works 40+ hours.  I am basically responsible for the state of cleanliness in the house.  I do 95% of the housekeeping inside the house and a variable amount on the exterior. >How many kids do you have

2 children, 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old >Do you have any problems keeping up with the housework

Of course.  There is currently a huge pile of laundry on the washer, dust and covering most surfaces in the house, the floors could use a good cleaning, the windows need to be cleaned (kid fingerprints everywhere), haven’t ironed in months, haven’t mended in months, etc. >How long do you spend each evening doing housework after work.

I don’t clean house after work.  I do the real housecleaning on the weekends.   After work is just for straightening the days messes, maybe some laundry, and cleaning up after the dinner meal. I spend about 4 hours on house cleaning each weekend.  Some jobs get done once a week, others get done every 2 weeks. -Suzi

Response:

Wonderwoman, although I do not work outside of our home, I will answer your survey anyway . >How many of you have both parents working full time where one of you is >responsible to keep the house clean.

Even though I don’t have an outside job, I have a small, VERY active child, one that leaves me with very little time to do the BIG jobs around the house. My husband works 4 10-hour days a week plus one weekend a month, but still does at least half of the housework (the big jobs, such as mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, laundry, etc.) >How many kids do you have

We have two children in our home full-time (20 mos. and 9 yrs.) and three others at different times of the year. >Do you have any problems keeping up with the housework

Yes! As I said before, during the day, I AM NOT able to do some of the household chores. Okay, let me put it this way. I WOULD be able to do them if I was willing to take 2 to 3 times longer to accomplish a job than what it would normally take because I was either chasing, rescuing or beating my daughter into submission (That’s a joke, folks!!!) or redoing everything that I had already accomplished. >How long do you spend each evening doing housework after work.

Generally, I will spend an hour or two when my son gets home from school getting to those things that have to be done that day. My husband will spend approximately the same time cleaning up after dinner (he does the dishes nightly.) Our big time for housework comes on his days off (Fri, Sat and Sun.) We will spend Fri and Sat morning doing the housework so we can have the afternoons and all day Sunday to do what we WANT to do. Even though I do not have a full-time job, what I cannot do during the week would probably take me all three of those days to catch up on. (BTW, we also have general housework chores assigned to our son.) I hope this helps in some way…. Tracey

Response:

> How many of you have both parents working full time where one of you is > responsible to keep the house clean.

My wife and I both work full time. I do the cooking, most of the laundry and take out the garbage/litter box. My wife does the cleaning, dishes and general household chores. > How many kids do you have

We have one child, Veronica, who is one year old > Do you have any problems keeping up with the housework

Oh yeah!!!!! Often get behind then wast a weekend catching up > How long do you spend each evening doing housework after work. > Hmmm, hard to say, usually about an hour or so, not including cooking dinner (I enjoy cooking and don’t count it as a chore) > Please, big conflict at our house, please respond, need to take answers to SO > to discuss this matter further.

Good Luck. My only advice is to be willing to compromise, and don’t hold out doing something because "it’s SO job!" I have come home and cleaned up and occasionally my wife will cook when I’m tired. You got to work together. Alacrity Fitzhugh If there is one thing in my life that these years have taught me, Is that you can always see it coming, but you can never stop it. –Cowboy Junkies(Michael Timmins) 17

Response:

Hi SO, > How many of you have both parents working full time where one of you is > responsible to keep the house clean.

My husband works full time, I work one day-a-week, and attend University one full day a week and one evening. Neither one of us is fully responsible for all the housework.  I do most of the cooking – he does ALL the cleanup and dishes. He does 90% of the laundry, folding and putting away. I do most of the groceries, but he often picks up milk and other odds and ends – including stuff for supper. I do 99% of the kid arranging activities, Bernie does 50% of the driving. Either one of us will take the day off if a kid is sick – he has more lattitude, and I feel obligated to show up for my one day, and really don’t like to miss class. Bernie coaches both our kids on different hockey teams, is a member of Rotary and generally is a very decent guy.   Neither of us would consider the other responsible for all of everything. He cuts grass and snow blows.  I do the gardening, family purchasing and social arrangements. We have made the choice to hire help in the house, and get someone 4 hours every two weeks.  She does a thorough dusting, bathrooms, vacuuming and washing floors.  In between, we do maintenance functions.  I used to go nearly mad trying to keep this place up, and am very happy with the help – we both consider it an investment in our sanity!  We figure $80.00/month is well worth it! > How many kids do you have

2 > Do you have any problems keeping up with the housework

yes, but I don’t let it get to me.  As I said, Bernie does the laundry – that’s a HUGE contribution.  > How long do you spend each evening doing housework after work. Almost none, laundry is ongoing, tidying the kitchen is done by Bernie, and the kids do their own rooms (10, & 8), make their own beds and are responsible for getting dirty clothes to the laundry room.  Not there – not done – tough. > Please, big conflict at our house, please respond, need to take answers to SO > to discuss this matter further.

What’s the conflict wonderwoman?  If you do most of the work, you have to stop that silly practice – you are EQUAL partners.  If your other half doesn’t pick up his end – let it go.  Pretty soon he will realize how much there is to do, and perhaps pitch in.  Often, we keep on keeping on, feeling resentment but the other half doesn’t know all that’s entailed in our day’s work.  Often they operate from the pattern they observed in their own homes.  Our mothers often did most or all of the domestic, unpaid work.  That is no longer – or should no longer – be the case!  But face it, would you voluntarily start doing housework??? I wouldn’t, especially if I’d been led to believe it was someone else’s responsibility.  We have had many discussions about division of labor, fortunately, my partner is considerate and egalitarian – one of the reasons I picked him in the first place.  He is also able to see patterns of behavior that are destructive to a relationship – once I point them out ha ha.  Good Luck, let us know the outcome. Many women feel obliged for some reason to do it all.  Let it go ladies!   > Wonderwoman

debbie ingimundson Carleton University "How can you accomplish anything unless people know what you are trying to do?"  - Vivian Kellems.

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