Question:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – writes: >>Hello All! >>I need some advice from the collective wisdom of all you folks. I have a >>three year old son that is really afraid of noises. It started out that he >>was just afraid of strong winds (we get that alot as we live in the country >>on a hill and don’t have a windbreak). But now it has progressed to his being >>afraid of helicopter sounds, airplane sounds, wind, thunder, power saws, >>lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc. I should note that the biggest responses happen >>when he is sleeping or just going to bed. It’s gotten to the point where he >>starts to scream and cry when a car is coming down the highway or the furnace >>starts up because he thinks it sounds like an airplane. He is always afraid >>of the thunder unless his dad or me is with him. Today he was going pee when >>he heard thunder and he just went nuts. He wouldn’t go to the bathroom >>without me for several hours afterwards. >>He likes really loud rock and roll, he has been flying in a small four seater >>airplane before with no problem at all, he doesn’t get scared when he outside >>with us when we shoot guns (but he does wear ear protectors) except ‘when we >>shoot the big boolets’)he doesn’t get frightened, he just doesn’t like it. >>I am really at a loss as to what to do. I have talked to him and soothed him, >>explained that we are here and would never let anything happen to him, etc., >>until I’m blue in the face. >>Please help and thanks! >>Mary
Mary I agree with Diane in the respect that children look to thier parents for appropriate reactions. For instance, if your child falls down, that child will wait and see if mom is going to make a big deal about it. If not they assume I’m okay. If mom screams and comes running, the child’s reaction is oh no I guess I’m really hurt and cries… There are a couple of things you might try.. Try soothing your son when he gets scared by, taking him in your lap and explaining the loud noises or try to find books about noises. While you are reading them try to immitate loud noises. Also, when a thunderstorm comes along wait till he comes to you and then tell hima you can be in here with us but, look at daddy and mommy we are not afraid and nothing is going to happen to you. The noise is loud but it can’t hurt you.. Then go on and lay down and pretend you are asleep if you have too (of course make sure that he feels safe like go ahead and put him in the bed with you) but, you should go on and act like it is another normal night.. About the airplane noises… Have you tried taking him to the airport just to let him check it out.. While your there just explain to him that the planes are big and when they run they make big noises.. Also, with the Lawn mower maybe take him outside and let daddy hold him while he pushes it for a little bit.. There is also one more poiint that I feel that i should make. About the guns and shooting them around him.. Maybe it is effecting him a little more than you think. Children tend to react to things that frighten them by assosiating it with other things. For example, The gun makes a loud noise even with ear plugs. When you fire that gun he sees that it can cause damage and I am sure that you have talked to him about gun safety and that they can hurt you.. But, when you fire the gun he is with you and hears the soundbut, again you are with him and he sees that the noises produce damage.(even to a target) When he hears thunder and loud noises and you are not there maybe he is assosiating the noise with the gun sound but mom and dad aren’t there and if they aren’t shooting (in his mind) who is, and where is the damage going to be!!!. You might try to avoid shooting your guns around him or even where he can hear them until he is a little older and can understand better.. My husband and I enjoy target practice. We have 2 children they are 2 and 5. We still do not expose them to our guns. They can be very scary and children are very smart and have very vivid imaginations… Good luck, I hope that I did not offend I had no intention of doing so,… I hope that these suggestions help and if not trash em’ kelly
Response:
Hello All! I need some advice from the collective wisdom of all you folks. I have a three year old son that is really afraid of noises. It started out that he was just afraid of strong winds (we get that alot as we live in the country on a hill and don’t have a windbreak). But now it has progressed to his being afraid of helicopter sounds, airplane sounds, wind, thunder, power saws, lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc. I should note that the biggest responses happen when he is sleeping or just going to bed. It’s gotten to the point where he starts to scream and cry when a car is coming down the highway or the furnace starts up because he thinks it sounds like an airplane. He is always afraid of the thunder unless his dad or me is with him. Today he was going pee when he heard thunder and he just went nuts. He wouldn’t go to the bathroom without me for several hours afterwards. He likes really loud rock and roll, he has been flying in a small four seater airplane before with no problem at all, he doesn’t get scared when he outside with us when we shoot guns (but he does wear ear protectors) except ‘when we shoot the big boolets’)he doesn’t get frightened, he just doesn’t like it. I am really at a loss as to what to do. I have talked to him and soothed him, explained that we are here and would never let anything happen to him, etc., until I’m blue in the face. Please help and thanks! Mary
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Hello All! >I need some advice from the collective wisdom of all you folks. I have a >three year old son that is really afraid of noises. It started out that he >was just afraid of strong winds (we get that alot as we live in the country >on a hill and don’t have a windbreak). But now it has progressed to his being >afraid of helicopter sounds, airplane sounds, wind, thunder, power saws, >lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc. I should note that the biggest responses happen >when he is sleeping or just going to bed. It’s gotten to the point where he >starts to scream and cry when a car is coming down the highway or the furnace >starts up because he thinks it sounds like an airplane. He is always afraid >of the thunder unless his dad or me is with him. Today he was going pee when >he heard thunder and he just went nuts. He wouldn’t go to the bathroom >without me for several hours afterwards. >He likes really loud rock and roll, he has been flying in a small four seater >airplane before with no problem at all, he doesn’t get scared when he outside >with us when we shoot guns (but he does wear ear protectors) except ‘when we >shoot the big boolets’)he doesn’t get frightened, he just doesn’t like it. >I am really at a loss as to what to do. I have talked to him and soothed him, >explained that we are here and would never let anything happen to him, etc., >until I’m blue in the face. >Please help and thanks! >Mary
Wow. I don’t know what to tell you. I thought that I’d relate a new development in our 3 1/2 year old. Like so many other kids, he has been fascinated with construction equipment since before he could talk. We would seek out building sites to watch whenever we could. We are in a neighborhood where there is a lot of construction currently. All of a sudden, he decided that he doesn’t want to see any of it anymore (unless we are driving by in the car). He won’t let me take him for walks, because he is afraid we’ll go past the construction. When I tried the last time, we got half way to the biggest construction site and he started to cry and run home. I am flabbergasted. We know of no reason why his behavior should change so. I know this is no where near as concerning as your son’s behavior, but it makes me wonder whether there is something about their age that precipitates these behaviors. Some new understanding (or not understanding) of the world? If I were you, I would avoid the loud rock music, the shooting, any other loud events that you have control over for the duration of this fear. -Suzi
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hello All! >I need some advice from the collective wisdom of all you folks. I have a >three year old son that is really afraid of noises. It started out that he >was just afraid of strong winds (we get that alot as we live in the country >on a hill and don’t have a windbreak). But now it has progressed to his being >afraid of helicopter sounds, airplane sounds, wind, thunder, power saws, >lawnmowers, snowblowers, etc. I should note that the biggest responses happen >when he is sleeping or just going to bed. It’s gotten to the point where he >starts to scream and cry when a car is coming down the highway or the furnace >starts up because he thinks it sounds like an airplane. He is always afraid >of the thunder unless his dad or me is with him. Today he was going pee when >he heard thunder and he just went nuts. He wouldn’t go to the bathroom >without me for several hours afterwards. >He likes really loud rock and roll, he has been flying in a small four seater >airplane before with no problem at all, he doesn’t get scared when he outside >with us when we shoot guns (but he does wear ear protectors) except ‘when we >shoot the big boolets’)he doesn’t get frightened, he just doesn’t like it. >I am really at a loss as to what to do. I have talked to him and soothed him, >explained that we are here and would never let anything happen to him, etc., >until I’m blue in the face. >Please help and thanks! >Mary
Hi. Two things came to mind when I read your post. First, it seems he is only frightened by *unexpected* loud noises. Is that right? Because when he is in a plane, he is expecting the noise. And when you shoot guns, he is expecting the gunshots. Is this correct for all the noises that don’t frighten him? The other thing is I was wondering how you and/or your husband react to loud unexpected noises. Since he was a baby, have you all jumped or said anything when lightening strikes, or any other sudden noise? He may have picked up on that and taken it a bit farther. We never react in any way when things like that happen around my daughter. I mean, as much as can be helped. We definitely don’t over-react to it, and we’ve never said "oh honey it’s okay" to my daughter, because she might wonder "why do they say it’s okay; am I supposed to think it’s not okay?". (like when a doctor tells you something won’t hurt, you might think why did he have to say that if it won’t hurt). I’ll add that she has never reacted at all to thunder or other sounds (probably because of what I just said), but if she had appeared obviously upset by a sound all on her own, we would’ve comforted her. We just watch and see how she reacts to things before we act like she’s supposed to be upset. My SIL does the opposite of what we do, with her son (same age as our girl), and I’ve noticed him being frightened of more stuff. My MIL once reacted to thunder by saying "ooh, that scared me" when it didn’t really scare her; she just does that with kids like she thinks that’s what you are supposed to do. My daughter reacted to her statement with a look of "what scared you?" because she didn’t realize that thunder is something you might be afraid of. Had we reacted like that to sounds all her life, she would probably jump and scream with every crack of thunder. I know I’m rambling and not giving you much advice on how to handle it. But maybe if you can figure out how this fear started, you can better find a solution. Maybe if you explain what makes certain loud noises, and also stop reacting to them yourselves (assuming you do react now). Comfort him if he gets frightened, but don’t OVER comfort. Another thought just came to mind. Has anything traumatic ever happened to him that involved a loud noise? Maybe incorporate some increasingly loud sudden noises into your day. Start with something not too loud, but sudden and work up to a little louder. See if that does anything. I know this will sound funny, but that is what is recommended for helping dogs that are afaid of loud noises. I know kids are different from dogs, but the same technique might be useful. Good luck Diane
Response:
HA>I am really at a loss as to what to do. I have talked to him and soothed him HA>explained that we are here and would never let anything happen to him, etc., HA>until I’m blue in the face. Have you ever heard of Sensory integration therapy? You should ask you doctor to look into this and tell you what he can. Some kids have sensory sensitivities (touch, feel, sound) and certain things can really drive them bonkers, certain noises or textures, and they can not help the reaction that they get. It may not be that he is afraid of the noise it may be that it just drives him crazy. Like some people are effected by finger nails on a chalk board and some are not. If you were really bothered by finger nails on a chalk board and you saw someone about to do it or beginning to do it you would run, hide or do whatever you could to avoid hearing it. Maybe you son is this way too. Maybe he is over sensitive to certain noises and it is beyond his control to simply stop being afraid. I heard a story once of a kid who kept hiding the paper towels behind the refriderator and when his parents asked him why he said "because I dont like the noises they make". Well naturally they thought he was crazy until they had him explain it a little better….the found that what bothered him was the "ripping noise" that they made when someone tore one off….it bothered him so much that he hid the towels so he wouldnt have to hear it. But this same child could listen to TV turned way up.
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