Question:
: A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re : going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new : kitty friends. Ain’t that the truth! I’ve been describing him lately as "my summer project." Soon he will be "this year’s project!" : I can’t wait! You’ll be one of the very first to know. :-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
Several years ago, my mom’s cat had a litter of kittens. My own cat, terrified of kittens took one look, squealed, and ran away. After that moment, the mama cat declared war on my cat. After all, he sounded and acted like prey. So she would chase on sight, and he would run on sight. It got to the point where he would hide behind the toilet or he would hide up on my book shelves even when my room was closed off. Here is what I did. In my case, I took it slowly and accomplished this in 8 months. Depending on the severity of the problem, it may take longer, or it may take a lot less. First off, I declared my room off limits to all pets but my own (my others didn’t bother him). I kept my room closed at all times, and insisted that everybody do the same. My mom’s cat was not to get near my cat under and circumstances. I also did not allow my cat to go upstairs (my room was the basement). I did this for over a month, establishing my room as 100% safe. After a month or so, I would lock my mom’s cat in her room, and bring my cat upstairs to the rest of the house. He was very terrified at first, so I would do this a couple times a day for over 2 months. I did this so that he would have experiences in the rest of the house without being attacked. The whole goal of separation and careful reintroduction is to break the cycle with both cats. One must learn not to run (stimulate the predator), and one must learn not to attack. After a couple months of that method (he was at ease roaming the house while the other cat was locked away), I started to bring him up while the other cat was loose. I always held on to him. This way, the other cat never saw him run. And he got used to being near that cat without anything bad happening. I always praised both cats, and gave my mom’s cat special attention after putting my own back downstairs. Later on, when he was at ease with that, I began holding my mom’s cat and letting him roam around. So now he had the freedom with her in sight but still not being attacked. Both of these steps took quite a while. You have to wait until both cats are calm with this before moving to the next step. If you have a bad day, back up to the previous step. After that, we put my mom’s cat on a leash and released mine. They both had some freedom, but we still had some control. After that step, we had sessions with both cats loose but under supervision. We went another month or so before leaving them both loose without supervision. We reached that step about 3 years ago, and we have never had a problem since. They don’t like each other, sometimes glare and hiss, but they have never had a fight again, and my cat is prefectly at easy anywhere in the house, and will even fight back if challenged. If you have any questions., I would be happy to elaborate. The main thing is to create a safe area for the cat who is being attacked. And make sure that predator cat is not allowed to see the prey cat in prey mode (squeal, run, etc. If they act like prey, they ARE prey). And make sure the prey cat gets used to not being attacked. Meghan Friesians in the Northwest http://www.zoocrewphoto.com/friesian.htm
Response:
: And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel : him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and : snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his : dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the : room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give : him a good petting. Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. 
I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to sleep. Priscilla P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new kitty friends. I can’t wait! Eva – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting > the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* > petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. > I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and > Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, > and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. > It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it > was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to > sleep. > Priscilla > P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on > only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses > through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased > Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the > cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, > of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. > — > "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A : few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few : feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last : night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better : about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I was grateful to read Barb’s note and your response, too. (or your note and Barb’s response and your response, or whatever) Sebastian took his first field trip last night. He wasn’t happy about going into his "excursion" crate, but behaved very well once we were in the livingroom. He sat in the middle of the crate and politely watched Benjamin hiss and sneak a paw in and Caley growl at him. Then he got bored and lay down, waiting for me to take him back up again after the weather report on the 11:00 news. He did seem to be interested in the TV, and watched Caley demonstrate proper snuggle technique and feline to human face washing. After it all, he was very excited to return to his room. It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be : > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as : > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be : > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) : You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about : Sebastian’s progress! Thanks, Debbie! The encouragement I get from folks on the net *really* helps me, especially when I get bogged down with yet *another* darned PROCESS I have to go through. Every once in a while I think, "Why oh why didn’t I get a kitten from a shelter?" But then I would have another cat and not Sebastian! : As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how : patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win : their trust 
I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care : and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has : a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens : into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my : head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! I already reap many benefits. I’m sleeping in with Sebbie full time now, because I’m in the midst of reorganizing my bedroom, and my bed is covered with stuff. (I hadn’t planned this reorganization, but the plumbing developed a leak, and I had to disassemble my computer so I could move my desk so the plumber could get access to the hatch in the wall which lets one into the upstairs plumbing. Then I was inspired to move my desk and computer downstairs, so now I have all this extra room in my bedroom, so why not reorganize? Not that you were interested in this tangent…) And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give him a good petting. I’ve also started trying to get him to let me pet him elsewhere in the room. The other night I fixed him a treat supper (it’s not a regular thing anymore) and talked him up to the top of his condo to eat it, since when he’s up there he shies away if I try to pet him. He finally ate it up there and let me pet him there. Another spot potentially de-terrified. And so it goes. Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
(snip) > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-)
You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about Sebastian’s progress! As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win their trust I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! Deb. Croydon CPL. — Online portfolio http://www.scientific-art.com Croydon Cats Protection http://www.btinternet.com/~cpl.croydon/ "Even the smallest feline is a masterpiece." – Leonardo da Vinci
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi all, > We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. (snip) > I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress > at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of > the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I > try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t > know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if > she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know > if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the > fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very > comfortable with that). > We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that > would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point > is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we > shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet > boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! > Thanks…. > Giner
Three weeks is not such a long time. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t give up. Anne
Response:
Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I’m glad your Blackie and Baby are friends! -giner – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way > it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident > cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too > thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. > a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them > to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was > grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t > give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely > changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her > home". > just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing > at each other again. But they will adjust! > try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite > side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then > gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! > Barb >We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk h
Before you buy.
Response:
don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her home". just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing at each other again. But they will adjust! try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! Barb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. >I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of >his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And >given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but >hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of >noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has >happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from >happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding >spot, though. >I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress >at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of >the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I >try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t >know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if >she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know >if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the >fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very >comfortable with that). >We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that >would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point >is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we >shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet >boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! >Thanks…. >Giner >Before you buy.
Response:
Hi all, We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation – we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding spot, though. I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very comfortable with that). We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! Thanks…. Giner Before you buy.
Response:
: A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re : going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new : kitty friends. Ain’t that the truth! I’ve been describing him lately as "my summer project." Soon he will be "this year’s project!" : I can’t wait! You’ll be one of the very first to know. :-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
Several years ago, my mom’s cat had a litter of kittens. My own cat, terrified of kittens took one look, squealed, and ran away. After that moment, the mama cat declared war on my cat. After all, he sounded and acted like prey. So she would chase on sight, and he would run on sight. It got to the point where he would hide behind the toilet or he would hide up on my book shelves even when my room was closed off. Here is what I did. In my case, I took it slowly and accomplished this in 8 months. Depending on the severity of the problem, it may take longer, or it may take a lot less. First off, I declared my room off limits to all pets but my own (my others didn’t bother him). I kept my room closed at all times, and insisted that everybody do the same. My mom’s cat was not to get near my cat under and circumstances. I also did not allow my cat to go upstairs (my room was the basement). I did this for over a month, establishing my room as 100% safe. After a month or so, I would lock my mom’s cat in her room, and bring my cat upstairs to the rest of the house. He was very terrified at first, so I would do this a couple times a day for over 2 months. I did this so that he would have experiences in the rest of the house without being attacked. The whole goal of separation and careful reintroduction is to break the cycle with both cats. One must learn not to run (stimulate the predator), and one must learn not to attack. After a couple months of that method (he was at ease roaming the house while the other cat was locked away), I started to bring him up while the other cat was loose. I always held on to him. This way, the other cat never saw him run. And he got used to being near that cat without anything bad happening. I always praised both cats, and gave my mom’s cat special attention after putting my own back downstairs. Later on, when he was at ease with that, I began holding my mom’s cat and letting him roam around. So now he had the freedom with her in sight but still not being attacked. Both of these steps took quite a while. You have to wait until both cats are calm with this before moving to the next step. If you have a bad day, back up to the previous step. After that, we put my mom’s cat on a leash and released mine. They both had some freedom, but we still had some control. After that step, we had sessions with both cats loose but under supervision. We went another month or so before leaving them both loose without supervision. We reached that step about 3 years ago, and we have never had a problem since. They don’t like each other, sometimes glare and hiss, but they have never had a fight again, and my cat is prefectly at easy anywhere in the house, and will even fight back if challenged. If you have any questions., I would be happy to elaborate. The main thing is to create a safe area for the cat who is being attacked. And make sure that predator cat is not allowed to see the prey cat in prey mode (squeal, run, etc. If they act like prey, they ARE prey). And make sure the prey cat gets used to not being attacked. Meghan Friesians in the Northwest http://www.zoocrewphoto.com/friesian.htm
Response:
: And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel : him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and : snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his : dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the : room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give : him a good petting. Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to sleep. Priscilla P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new kitty friends. I can’t wait! Eva – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting > the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* > petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. > I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and > Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, > and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. > It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it > was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to > sleep. > Priscilla > P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on > only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses > through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased > Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the > cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, > of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. > — > "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A : few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few : feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last : night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better : about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I was grateful to read Barb’s note and your response, too. (or your note and Barb’s response and your response, or whatever) Sebastian took his first field trip last night. He wasn’t happy about going into his "excursion" crate, but behaved very well once we were in the livingroom. He sat in the middle of the crate and politely watched Benjamin hiss and sneak a paw in and Caley growl at him. Then he got bored and lay down, waiting for me to take him back up again after the weather report on the 11:00 news. He did seem to be interested in the TV, and watched Caley demonstrate proper snuggle technique and feline to human face washing. After it all, he was very excited to return to his room. It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be : > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as : > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be : > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) : You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about : Sebastian’s progress! Thanks, Debbie! The encouragement I get from folks on the net *really* helps me, especially when I get bogged down with yet *another* darned PROCESS I have to go through. Every once in a while I think, "Why oh why didn’t I get a kitten from a shelter?" But then I would have another cat and not Sebastian! : As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how : patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win : their trust I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care : and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has : a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens : into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my : head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! I already reap many benefits. I’m sleeping in with Sebbie full time now, because I’m in the midst of reorganizing my bedroom, and my bed is covered with stuff. (I hadn’t planned this reorganization, but the plumbing developed a leak, and I had to disassemble my computer so I could move my desk so the plumber could get access to the hatch in the wall which lets one into the upstairs plumbing. Then I was inspired to move my desk and computer downstairs, so now I have all this extra room in my bedroom, so why not reorganize? Not that you were interested in this tangent…) And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give him a good petting. I’ve also started trying to get him to let me pet him elsewhere in the room. The other night I fixed him a treat supper (it’s not a regular thing anymore) and talked him up to the top of his condo to eat it, since when he’s up there he shies away if I try to pet him. He finally ate it up there and let me pet him there. Another spot potentially de-terrified. And so it goes. Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
(snip) > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-)
You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about Sebastian’s progress! As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win their trust I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! Deb. Croydon CPL. — Online portfolio http://www.scientific-art.com Croydon Cats Protection http://www.btinternet.com/~cpl.croydon/ "Even the smallest feline is a masterpiece." – Leonardo da Vinci
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi all, > We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. (snip) > I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress > at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of > the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I > try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t > know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if > she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know > if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the > fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very > comfortable with that). > We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that > would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point > is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we > shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet > boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! > Thanks…. > Giner
Three weeks is not such a long time. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t give up. Anne
Response:
Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I’m glad your Blackie and Baby are friends! -giner – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way > it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident > cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too > thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. > a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them > to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was > grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t > give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely > changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her > home". > just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing > at each other again. But they will adjust! > try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite > side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then > gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! > Barb >We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk h
Before you buy.
Response:
don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her home". just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing at each other again. But they will adjust! try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! Barb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. >I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of >his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And >given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but >hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of >noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has >happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from >happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding >spot, though. >I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress >at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of >the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I >try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t >know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if >she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know >if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the >fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very >comfortable with that). >We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that >would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point >is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we >shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet >boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! >Thanks…. >Giner >Before you buy.
Response:
Hi all, We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation – we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding spot, though. I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very comfortable with that). We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! Thanks…. Giner Before you buy.
Response:
: A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re : going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new : kitty friends. Ain’t that the truth! I’ve been describing him lately as "my summer project." Soon he will be "this year’s project!" : I can’t wait! You’ll be one of the very first to know. :-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
Several years ago, my mom’s cat had a litter of kittens. My own cat, terrified of kittens took one look, squealed, and ran away. After that moment, the mama cat declared war on my cat. After all, he sounded and acted like prey. So she would chase on sight, and he would run on sight. It got to the point where he would hide behind the toilet or he would hide up on my book shelves even when my room was closed off. Here is what I did. In my case, I took it slowly and accomplished this in 8 months. Depending on the severity of the problem, it may take longer, or it may take a lot less. First off, I declared my room off limits to all pets but my own (my others didn’t bother him). I kept my room closed at all times, and insisted that everybody do the same. My mom’s cat was not to get near my cat under and circumstances. I also did not allow my cat to go upstairs (my room was the basement). I did this for over a month, establishing my room as 100% safe. After a month or so, I would lock my mom’s cat in her room, and bring my cat upstairs to the rest of the house. He was very terrified at first, so I would do this a couple times a day for over 2 months. I did this so that he would have experiences in the rest of the house without being attacked. The whole goal of separation and careful reintroduction is to break the cycle with both cats. One must learn not to run (stimulate the predator), and one must learn not to attack. After a couple months of that method (he was at ease roaming the house while the other cat was locked away), I started to bring him up while the other cat was loose. I always held on to him. This way, the other cat never saw him run. And he got used to being near that cat without anything bad happening. I always praised both cats, and gave my mom’s cat special attention after putting my own back downstairs. Later on, when he was at ease with that, I began holding my mom’s cat and letting him roam around. So now he had the freedom with her in sight but still not being attacked. Both of these steps took quite a while. You have to wait until both cats are calm with this before moving to the next step. If you have a bad day, back up to the previous step. After that, we put my mom’s cat on a leash and released mine. They both had some freedom, but we still had some control. After that step, we had sessions with both cats loose but under supervision. We went another month or so before leaving them both loose without supervision. We reached that step about 3 years ago, and we have never had a problem since. They don’t like each other, sometimes glare and hiss, but they have never had a fight again, and my cat is prefectly at easy anywhere in the house, and will even fight back if challenged. If you have any questions., I would be happy to elaborate. The main thing is to create a safe area for the cat who is being attacked. And make sure that predator cat is not allowed to see the prey cat in prey mode (squeal, run, etc. If they act like prey, they ARE prey). And make sure the prey cat gets used to not being attacked. Meghan Friesians in the Northwest http://www.zoocrewphoto.com/friesian.htm
Response:
: And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel : him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and : snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his : dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the : room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give : him a good petting. Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to sleep. Priscilla P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
A little more progress every day! I can just imagine how happy you’re going to be when little Sebastian is ready to run free with his new kitty friends. I can’t wait! Eva – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Last night I started to wake up from a dream. In the dream I was petting > the softest kitten I’d ever known. As I woke up I realized that I *was* > petting the softest kitten I’d ever known, and he was purring beside me. > I hypothesize that my hand was just lying on top of the blanket and > Sebbie jumped up and started pushing his head into my hand, as he does, > and I automatically, in my sleep, began to pet him. > It was a lovely way to wake up, but when I looked at the clock I saw it > was 4:30 AM, so I apologized to Sebbie, rolled over, and went back to > sleep. > Priscilla > P.S. Last night was excursion 2 to the livingroom. Benjamin hissed on > only about 50% of his encounters with Sebastian. They even sniffed noses > through the bars. I hooked up a dangling toy in the cage, which eased > Sebbie’s boredom and also attracted Caley, who climbed onto the top of the > cage and batted at the toy, too. Hissing and growling most of the time, > of course. She’s playing Tough Nut. > — > "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A : few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few : feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last : night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better : about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I was grateful to read Barb’s note and your response, too. (or your note and Barb’s response and your response, or whatever) Sebastian took his first field trip last night. He wasn’t happy about going into his "excursion" crate, but behaved very well once we were in the livingroom. He sat in the middle of the crate and politely watched Benjamin hiss and sneak a paw in and Caley growl at him. Then he got bored and lay down, waiting for me to take him back up again after the weather report on the 11:00 news. He did seem to be interested in the TV, and watched Caley demonstrate proper snuggle technique and feline to human face washing. After it all, he was very excited to return to his room. It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
: > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be : > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as : > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be : > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-) : You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about : Sebastian’s progress! Thanks, Debbie! The encouragement I get from folks on the net *really* helps me, especially when I get bogged down with yet *another* darned PROCESS I have to go through. Every once in a while I think, "Why oh why didn’t I get a kitten from a shelter?" But then I would have another cat and not Sebastian! : As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how : patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win : their trust I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care : and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has : a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens : into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my : head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! I already reap many benefits. I’m sleeping in with Sebbie full time now, because I’m in the midst of reorganizing my bedroom, and my bed is covered with stuff. (I hadn’t planned this reorganization, but the plumbing developed a leak, and I had to disassemble my computer so I could move my desk so the plumber could get access to the hatch in the wall which lets one into the upstairs plumbing. Then I was inspired to move my desk and computer downstairs, so now I have all this extra room in my bedroom, so why not reorganize? Not that you were interested in this tangent…) And when I’m in bed with the lights out and I’m not fully asleep, I feel him jump up and snuggle down and jump down again and jump up again and snuggle again… rinse lather and repeat. Play or snuggle seems to be his dilemna. He snuggles a lot when I’m awake, too. When I come into the room he often runs over to the bed to be ready for me to recline and give him a good petting. I’ve also started trying to get him to let me pet him elsewhere in the room. The other night I fixed him a treat supper (it’s not a regular thing anymore) and talked him up to the top of his condo to eat it, since when he’s up there he shies away if I try to pet him. He finally ate it up there and let me pet him there. Another spot potentially de-terrified. And so it goes. Priscilla — "If you understand, it is not God." — St. Augustine
Response:
(snip) > It’s going to take a lot of excursions, though, before he’s ready to be > let loose in the house with the other two. *sigh* I am so glad I was as > naive as I was when I started this! I’ve warned my mother that she may be > sharing her bedroom when she comes for Thanksgiving. ;-)
You are doing a really great job Priscilla, it’s so lovely to read about Sebastian’s progress! As I often foster feral kittens myself I know how patient you have to be, but also how rewarding they are when you win their trust I am sure you will be *hugely* rewarded for all the care and time you are taking with him ) Your mother may well find she has a silent snuggler at the foot of her bed also – when I let feral kittens into my bedroom, many’s the time I’ve felt a tentative nose sniffing my head when they think I am still asleep. So sweet! Deb. Croydon CPL. — Online portfolio http://www.scientific-art.com Croydon Cats Protection http://www.btinternet.com/~cpl.croydon/ "Even the smallest feline is a masterpiece." – Leonardo da Vinci
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Hi all, > We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. (snip) > I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress > at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of > the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I > try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t > know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if > she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know > if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the > fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very > comfortable with that). > We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that > would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point > is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we > shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet > boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! > Thanks…. > Giner
Three weeks is not such a long time. Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t give up. Anne
Response:
Thanks, Barb, it’s so good to know things have worked out for others! A few hours after I posted that first note, I found them sleeping a few feet apart from each other in the kitchen. We were very surprised! Last night it was hissing and growling again, but I’m feeling so much better about it now. I guess it’s two steps forward, one step back. I’m glad your Blackie and Baby are friends! -giner – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way > it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident > cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too > thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. > a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them > to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was > grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t > give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely > changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her > home". > just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing > at each other again. But they will adjust! > try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite > side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then > gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! > Barb >We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk h
Before you buy.
Response:
don’t give up! when I was reading your post I thought….that’s just the way it was between Blackie and Baby. Blackie (17 yr old female) was the resident cat and I got Baby (1 1/2 years female) from a shelter. 3 weeks into it I too thought it was hopeless; I was this close to taking Baby back. but…. a few days later, I caught them sleeping next to one another. then I got them to eat near each other. this morning ( I’ve had Baby 2 months now) Baby was grooming Blackie before breakfast. it was sooo sweet. I’m so glad I didn’t give Baby back, I truly am in love with this kitty now. She has completely changed into a sweetie pie. and Blackie totally has accepted her into "her home". just be patient. you are gonna have your good times and then they’ll be hissing at each other again. But they will adjust! try getting them to eat near each other. start with their bowls at opposite side of the room. let them get used to seeing each other at meal time. then gradually move their bowls closer to each other every day. It worked for me! Barb – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. >I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but >our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to >do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation >- we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be >put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some >fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a >three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and >very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, >with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls >whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. >I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of >his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And >given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but >hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of >noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has >happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from >happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding >spot, though. >I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress >at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of >the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I >try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t >know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if >she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know >if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the >fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very >comfortable with that). >We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that >would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point >is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we >shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet >boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! >Thanks…. >Giner >Before you buy.
Response:
Hi all, We are having major problems introducing a new cat to our household. I’ve read everything I can find on-line and introduced them slowly, but our boy is still attacking our new cat, and I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to put her back up for adoption! This is the situation – we had two cats until this past January, when our senior cat had to be put to sleep after a long illness. They had gotten along ok, some fighting all along, but nothing vicious. A few weeks ago we adopted a three year old girl and our boy just isn’t accepting her. (he’s 13, and very much a Momma’s boy). We’ve kept them separated most of the time, with supervised visits in the evening. But she hisses and growls whenever she sees him. And he spends the whole time trying to stalk her. I can distract him with toys or treats (chase-the-cat-treat is one of his favorite games). But as soon as I’m done he goes back to her. And given the chance he will attack. He’s gotten a mouthful of her fur, but hasn’t done any serious injury (yet). She makes an incredible amount of noise, yelling and squalling, and runs away, with him chasing (this has happened three times so far, we’ve been trying our best to keep it from happening.) As soon as we shut him away she comes out of her hiding spot, though. I just don’t know what to do, I feel like we haven’t made any progress at all in almost three weeks. We switch off giving each one the run of the apartment during the day (with the other shut in the bedroom), and I try to make a big fuss over our boy so he don’t feel slighted. I don’t know if it’s her growling and hissing that is antagonizing him, and if she finally gets used to him he’ll stop attacking, or what. I don’t know if he’s going to really hurt her. I don’t know if I should just let the fur fly and let them settle things between them (I am not very comfortable with that). We have the option of returning her to the adoptation agency, but that would just break my heart. I guess what I want to know is at what point is it hopeless? What kind of progress should we be making so I know we shouldn’t give up? I am very upset over this. I can’t believe my sweet boy is being so mean. And I don’t want to give up our new girl. Help! Thanks…. Giner Before you buy.
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