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Question:

ROFL   I am 19 and 40!!                       Char – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> 19. I’m not a cranky person, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 > years. > 40. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

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Response:

OK Renee, how do you know so much about me? #1–wasted make-up day, when I go to all that bother and my husband is still nasty about my appearance #21–my selves, me and Sybil #37–computer, vibrator, and pizza delivery—why did I ever get married? #55–terribly alert!!  Where is Prince Valium when I need him? Thanks for making me laugh!! Nina

Response:

oh Gosh Rene—thanks so much—- ROFLMAO—- ->18. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…? >19. I’m not a cranky person, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 >years. >40. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. >45. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done. >50. Is it time for your medication or mine?

 AND the best one to describe me—— – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->55. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

Response:

>50. Is it time for your medication or mine?

Thanks Rene this was great.  My favorite is above.  When we had an extremely trying patient we used to say to the doctors.  "If you won’t order the valium for the patient can the nurses have some." Kathy In my next life, I want to be a Teddy Bear, everybody loves them, the older they get, the more valuable they become and nobody cares how fat they are!!!!

Response:

1. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 4. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 5. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 6. Do I look like a freakin’ people person? 7. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 8. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 9. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 10. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 11. You! Off my planet! 12. Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. 13. I like cats, too. Let’s exchange recipes. 14. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. 15. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? 16. God was my co-pilot, but we crashed into the mountains and I had to eat him. 17. And just how may I screw you over today? 18. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…? 19. I’m not a cranky person, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 20. If only you’d use your powers for good instead of evil… 21. Allow me to introduce my selves. 22. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 23. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 24. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. 25. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 26. I’m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. 27. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage. 28. I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable. 29. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. 30. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 31. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet. 32. Mall whore: I can suck the numbers right off your credit cards. 33. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes? 34. Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too! 35. Adults are just kids who owe money. 36. How many times do I have to flush before you go away? 37. I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? 38. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? 39. It’s sick the way you people keep having sex without me. 40. You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing. 41. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2? 42. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 43. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 44. Too may freaks, not enough circuses. 45. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done. 46. A woman’s favorite position is CEO. 47. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. 48. You look like shit. Is that the style now? 49. Everyone thinks I’m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth. 50. Is it time for your medication or mine? 51. Does this condom make me look fat? 52. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 53. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 54. It ain’t the size, it’s… no, it’s the size. 55. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert

Response: